everything i’ve forgotten

when i was a kid, my grandma took me to the park near my house. my little legs ran so fast to play. now this part i don’t really remember, but my grandma used to tell this one on my birthday. I ran up to a little girl playing and asked her name. when she asked me mine I told her who I was and stated “and i love everyone in the whole world!” as time passed I wonder if that little girl is still inside of me.

i wonder why I don’t play at the park anymore and why it seems so much smaller. why does halloween not feel the same as it did back in 2015 when my hair was still blonde

do I still look at people the way I did back then, with such hope and love for everyone i cross? or did i get hurt and now i’m scared to love like that again? why can’t i remember the way my grandmas hugs feel why why why has so much changed? I can’t recognize that little girl anymore.

but maybe i’m supposed to change and become everything that girl hope to be. I still laugh loud and cry a lot. I still sing along to every one direction song. I dance when everyone is watching. and I still fight with my brother but now he’s a foot taller than me.

and i hope that i still run to the playgrounds of my life as fast as I can. and everyone I meet along the way will still look as beautiful and full of love as they did when I was three. and maybe all those stories will be become photos I forget but I know in this moment she’ll always be a part of me, even when i’m 73.